Dumbstruck

[Scooterd]

A few weeks ago I got a letter soliciting to manage my investments. Then it was followed up with a packet of information.Then 2  weeks worth of incessant phone calls left on answering machine. Today, another call, I was bored so  decided to answer....

Hello Mr Scooter, this is "so and so" with xyz.....

Don't call me Mister I worked for a living.

Oh; OK Mister Scooter...At which point,  I realized he was reading from a script. So I let him go through his spiel for a few minutes, Then I finally broke in and asked  -

May I ask what hand do you write with?

Huh?

What hand do you write with?

My right.

Ok; "If I entrust you manage my investments, and you lose all my invested capital, do I get to take your right hand?

Excuse me?

So I repeated, "If I let you manage my investments, and you lose all my invested capital do I get to take your hand? 

He was Dumbstruck!!!

Well Mister Scooter all investments....Blah Blah.. Blah... levels of risk... Blah Blah.. Blah.. Economy...Blah Blah..Blah..rates of return ...Blah..Blah..Blah...management fees ...Blah blah..Blah...

Finally, it was time to feed barn critters..

Ok, Tell ya what , when you feel comfortable with "your level of risk" to enter into a financial contract with me -  that if I entrust you to manage my investments and you lose all my capital I get to take your right hand  - give me a buzz and we'll talk some more..

I doubt he ever had a call like that before, and I doubt I will be bothered by the incessant phone calls again.

 - Scoot

[fenders53]

We'd be bad customers. I hate that their fees are so high when you can hire some very reputable ones for a few hundred dollars. Having said that, the million kids that lost their entire port on YOLO plays the past two years couldn't do any worse than flat busted.

[ken-do-nim]

(12-22-2021, 05:08 PM)fenders53 Wrote: Having said that, the million kids that lost their entire port on YOLO plays the past two years couldn't do any worse than flat busted.

I can't understand why people mess around with speculative stuff when companies like Apple, Microsoft, and Nvidia exist.  Sure I'm guilty of triple leveraged ETFs, but I'm just leveraging those exact amazing companies.

Scooter - good one! I get a fair amount of calls from Financial Advisors too, and I try to be polite but I believe that investing is too important a skill to acquire to let someone else do it. Like, no one else can do push-ups for you and make you strong.

[fenders53]

(12-22-2021, 07:36 PM)ken-do-nim Wrote:

(12-22-2021, 05:08 PM)fenders53 Wrote: Having said that, the million kids that lost their entire port on YOLO plays the past two years couldn't do any worse than flat busted.

I can't understand why people mess around with speculative stuff when companies like Apple, Microsoft, and Nvidia exist.  Sure I'm guilty of triple leveraged ETFs, but I'm just leveraging those exact amazing companies.

Scooter - good one!  I get a fair amount of calls from Financial Advisors too, and I try to be polite but I believe that investing is too important a skill to acquire to let someone else do it.  Like, no one else can do push-ups for you and make you strong.

It was a casino with free stimulus money poker chips.  Some of them were actually up for months, then they just kept doubling down, buying extremely speculative options, using margin etc.  I sold them some of those options.  I read their questions on forums and they clearly had no earthly idea how options work.  

I do know of a few online advisors that are very highly respected.  After they set you up, help you adjust your port once or twice a year for $99.  Quality websites, available to chat if you get scared.  It doesn't take too long to lose $99 if you don't know what you are doing.   Yes ETFs mostly but there is nothing wrong with that for most people.  No I don't need that service  but it's better than getting ripped off on much larger annual fees by Edward Jones etc.  I can lose $99 in 30 seconds if I make a mistake. Pretty sure you can too Ken.